Previous posts in this series:
Understanding Executive Function: What It Is and Why It Matters
The Zoom Out, Zoom In Dance: A Foundation for Better Productivity
The Daily Aiming Ritual: Putting Prioritization into Practice
Time Management for Planning: Aligning Your Schedule with Natural Rhythms
The Neuroscience of Motivation and Emotion: Why We Want One Thing But Do Another
Parts Work for Executive Function: Building Alliance Instead of Waging War
At this point you should have a working, if abstract, understanding of the parts-work framework for executive function support. You know about the alliance model. You can appreciate how your cortical Self excels at navigation rather than motivation, while your emotional parts provide motivational power but often in ways that prioritize immediate safety or comfort over your long-term goals. If the alliance model and the distinction between Self and emotional parts aren't yet clear to you, Post 10 lays that foundation.
In light of this appreciation of how your mind works, you understand the key insight that sustainable productivity comes from building trusting attachment relationships with your emotional parts rather than trying to override them through willpower. But understanding the theory and actually recognizing how to form supportive relationships with your own parts in real time? Those are very different things.
When you're staring at the important task you "should" be doing, feeling that familiar heavy resistance in your chest - how do you work with that? When your mind keeps spinning through the same anxious loop showing you all the things you haven't done yet — how do you even recognize which part of yourself is activated? And once you know which part is activated, how do you speak to that part to build the alliance? Let's help you build these important skills.
First, I'll teach you practical techniques for identifying parts as they show up in your daily experience. Then we'll practice the specific communication approaches that help you build alliance with them. By teaching you the specific skills to recognize your internal parts and actually relate to them, you'll move from theory into practice.
The Five Experiential Channels: How Parts Make Themselves Known
When I first started doing parts-work, one of the things I found the most confusing was understanding how parts communicate. I initially expected they would need to verbalize and felt confused when this didn't always happen. What I've since learned is that parts do sometimes verbalize, but often they make themselves known through other experiential channels. The key thing for you to appreciate is that parts can communicate through multiple channels, not just verbal thought.
You can learn to recognize the presence and intention of your parts by paying attention to any of five distinct experiential channels that I'm about to describe. You'll want to scan inside yourself for changes occurring across all of these channels, but you may learn that some of your parts prefer some of these channels more than others. For instance, some people naturally tune into physical sensations associated with their parts first. Others notice behavioral patterns. Some are most aware of emotional qualities or thoughts.
Think of the five channels described below as your observational toolkit; a set of lenses you can look through to gather the information you'll need to recognize and understand your parts. The channels are not the territory—they're the map showing you the places to look for the information you'll need. Use these five channels to help you collect data about your impulses, behaviors, sensations, emotional qualities, and context. Then interpret that data by applying the lenses of tone and function to bring your parts into focus.
Take some time to learn how to recognize these five channels. Get curious about which ones you naturally attend to. Once you understand how parts communicate inside you through some or all of these five channels, you'll start noticing them everywhere.
Channel 1: Cognitive Themes (Thoughts)
This is what most people think of first when they imagine "parts" - the different voices or thoughts in your head. But it's usually not about hearing literal voices. It's about recognizing distinct patterns of thinking that have different qualities, concerns, and perspectives.
Your Planner part might think: "If I just organize this better, I can fit everything in." Notice the hopeful, strategic quality? That's different from your Inner Critic, which might think: "You're never going to get this done. You always fail at follow-through." Same situation, completely different perspective and energy.
Here's what to listen for:
Recurring thought patterns that show up across different situations
Distinct perspectives that seem to have their own logic and concerns
Characteristic language - does one part say "should" a lot? Does another use catastrophic language?
Different relationships to time - some parts focus on past failures, others worry about future consequences, still others live only in the immediate moment
When you notice yourself thinking something like "Part of me wants to start this project, but another part feels overwhelmed by it" - you're already recognizing parts through their cognitive themes. You're noticing that different aspects of you have different perspectives on the same situation.
Channel 2: Behavioral Patterns (Actions)
Parts may reveal themselves through what you actually do - the behavioral patterns that show up repeatedly especially when you're under stress or when facing challenging tasks.
Your Procrastinator part might push you to suddenly need to organize your desk, check your email again, or research one more thing before starting work. Your Perfectionist part might drive you to revise the same paragraph seven times and still not feel satisfied. Your Rebel part might influence you to deliberately avoid doing something the moment someone else (or even another part of you) says you "should" do it.
Watch for:
Behavioral switches that happen at predictable trigger points (like right before starting a hard task)
Repeated patterns of behavior that contradict what you consciously want—patterns that seem to have their own logic even though you wish you'd do something different
Characteristic behavioral approaches to problems - does one part always want to do more research? Does another jump into action without planning?
Automatic responses to specific situations or emotions
The curious (or infuriating) behavioral diversions you notice are more than just "bad habits." They are organized, often unconscious behavioral coping strategies. Think of them as systematic attempts to meet needs or provide protection from something threatening. It's likely that these behavioral patterns made sense at some point in the past. They might even make sense in the present moment when you appreciate that such behavioral impulses neglect care for consequences.
When you recognize these behavioral tendencies as powerful semi-autonomous parts with their own protective agendas, something important shifts. You can begin working productively with them to steer yourself in helpful directions. This beats the alternative—trying to override them with willpower and repeatedly failing.
Channel 3: Physical Sensations (Body Signals)
Parts don't just think opposing thoughts and drive unintended behaviors—they are manifest in your body. As they manifest in your body they create distinct physical sensations that you can learn to recognize.
Your Anxious part might create a tight, fluttery feeling in your chest or stomach. Your Collapsed Depressed part might show up as heaviness in your limbs, a sinking feeling, or that sense of your body just not wanting to move. Your Activated part might create energy throughout your body—from a full surge of activation to a subtle sense of readiness or restlessness.
Pay attention to:
Location within your body - where do you feel different internal experiences? Chest? Gut? Throat? Shoulders?
Physical qualities - is the sensation tight or relaxed? Heavy or light? Hot or cold? Moving or still?
Changes in energy - does a part surge into activation or collapse? Does it tense you up or let you soften and relax?
Breathing patterns - does your breath change? If so, does it become shallow and rapid? Deep and slow? Do you hold your breath?
Physical sensations often precede conscious awareness of thoughts or emotions, which makes this channel particularly valuable for early detection and prediction of what will come next. If you can recognize the body signatures of different parts as they're activating—rather than after they've fully taken over—you gain a few precious moments to respond intentionally instead of reactively. That early recognition gives you more choice in how you engage with what's happening inside.
Channel 4: Emotional Qualities (Feeling Tones)
Each part carries its own emotional tone—a characteristic feeling quality that becomes present when that part activates. Learning to recognize these individual tones helps you identify which parts are active in any given moment.
Often, multiple parts are active simultaneously, and their tones blend together. You know the feeling of "bittersweet"? That's not just sadness or just happiness—it's both at once, creating something distinct. Your parts can work the same way. You might feel anxious-excited (your Worried part and your Hopeful part both active at the same time), or sad-mad (a blend of your Protective and Hurt parts), or overwhelmed-determined (your Exhausted part mixed with your Driven part). Learning to sense and characterize these tonal blends is important because when you appreciate them, you also can appreciate which parts of you have become active and how they interact with one another.
Notice:
Co-occurring parts - certain parts may activate together, their tones blending to create a complex atmosphere. Does anxiety mix with excitement when facing challenges? Does sadness combine with protective numbness in response to disappointment?
Emotional shifts that seem to come out of nowhere - you were feeling one way, now suddenly you're feeling completely different
Intensity changes - emotions that spike up or drop down without obvious external cause
Duration patterns - some parts activate and fade quickly, while others linger or create sustained activation. Notice which parts are brief and which ones settle in and persist
When you feel a sudden shift in emotional atmosphere, it often means a different part has become active. Instead of just being swept along by the emotion the part brings, you can learn to stand back from it and be curious: "Which part of me is feeling this? What is this part most concerned about?". Learning to step back and watch your parts as they activate and deactivate helps prepare you for the later task of learning to form relationships with them.
Channel 5: Environmental and Relational Signals
Parts are context-sensitive. Different environments, people, and situations will reliably activate different parts of you. When you learn which parts of you reliably emerge in which contexts, you can then learn to anticipate which part of yourself is most likely to show up next.
Maybe your Confident part shows up in one-on-one conversations but your Scared part emerges in group meetings. Maybe your Efficient part activates when you are in your organized home office but your Scattered part takes over when you try working from a coffee shop. Maybe your Cooperative part shows up with your boss but your Rebellious part emerges with your spouse.
Look for:
Context-dependent patterns - which parts of you show up in which settings? How do you become different when you enter different situations and settings?
Relational triggers - which people or relationship dynamics activate specific parts of you?
Environmental factors - think about how environmental factors like noise level, visual organization, lighting, physical comfort, and spatial familiarity influence which of your parts become active
As you notice which of your parts emerge in which contexts, pay attention to what this tells you: the same part that feels impossible to access in one situation can emerge naturally in another. Your Focused part might be nowhere to be found at a busy coffee shop but arrive effortlessly in your quiet home office. This pattern reveals something crucial—parts aren't permanent states you either have or don't have. They're context-responsive, which means you have more control than you think. You can exercise this control by noticing which conditions help desirable parts emerge, then deliberately creating those conditions.
A Note for the Philosophically Curious: Are Parts Real or Just Stories?
As you practice detecting parts through these five channels, you might wonder: are parts objectively real, or just interpretive stories I'm constructing? It's a fair question, and the answer is: both.
There's real neurobiology underneath. Panksepp's affective circuits, the predictive processing networks, the coordinated systems Barrett describes - these exist and are measurable. Your brain is doing real, organized things.
But your experience of what your brain is doing? That's constructed. You can't directly perceive neural circuits. You perceive impulses, sensations, feeling tones, behavioral urges. From that raw material, you construct meaning. You tell a story about what's happening inside you.
This is where I align with Lisa Feldman Barrett's constructed emotion theory: even though basic affective systems exist as underlying biology, your experience of them - how you interpret and organize them into meaningful units - is interpretive. You're actively parsing your experience, not discovering pre-existing, objective categories.
What does this mean practically? You have some freedom in how you parse. I recommend parsing by emotional tone (the characteristic feeling atmosphere) and function (what the part is trying to accomplish). Most often you'll use both - your Anxious part feels tense AND functionally tries to keep you safe. That's a coherent unit. But you could theoretically parse the same experience as three parts or one. What matters is that your parsing is useful - it helps you understand, negotiate with, and build alliance within yourself.
Don't worry about parsing "correctly." There's no objective correct. What matters is whether thinking about your experience this way helps you reduce internal conflict and build the internal alliance that sustainable productivity requires. The proof is in the practice, not the metaphysics.
Practical Exercise: The 10-15 Minute Parts Mapping
Now let's put this into practice. I'm going to guide you through a structured exercise for mapping your parts as they relate to productivity and executive function. You'll be observing your internal experience across the five channels, mapping how your parts show up. You can practice this mapping exercise at any time—it will help you gain insight into your changing motivations. However, it becomes particularly useful and practical knowledge to have when conflicting motivations actively interfere with your progress on tasks.
Set up: Get a piece of paper or open a blank document. Give yourself 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time.
The Basic Process:
Choose a situation to focus on - Think of a productivity challenge you're currently facing. Maybe it's a task you're avoiding, a project you keep starting and stopping, or a pattern of behavior that's frustrating you. Get specific: not just "I procrastinate" but "I'm avoiding working on that quarterly report."
Notice your immediate experience - As you think about this situation right now, what do you notice?
What thoughts come up?
What physical sensations do you feel in your body?
What emotions are present?
What impulses or behaviors do you feel pulled toward?
Start mapping parts - Using the information from your survey of the five channels, list the different parts you can identify. Give each a simple descriptive name based on its emotional tone, its function, or both. Don't worry about getting it "right"—you're creating working labels to help you understand your internal experience.
For example, if you're avoiding that quarterly report, you might notice:
Your Planner part - wants to break the report down into steps, and feels optimistic about organization
Your Exhausted part - feels heavy, just wants to rest, and can't imagine having energy for this
Your Perfectionist part - is anxious about the report ever being good enough and wants more time to prepare
Your Rebel part - resents having to do this task at all and wants to escape to do literally anything else
Your Scared part - is worried about being judged and is afraid of doing the report wrong
Keep in mind: the particular parts I've listed above are just a sample of what you might experience. Some of these parts might not be present for you, and others I haven't listed might appear. This is normal. You've not done anything wrong if the list of parts you notice differs from my illustration.
Map each part across the five channels - For each part you notice, identify which channels it uses most dominantly. Get curious about how each part shows up on each channel by exploring these questions:
Thoughts: What does this part think or believe?
Behaviors: What does this part want you to do (or not do)
Physical: Where do you feel this part in your body? What's the sensation?
Emotional: What's the emotional quality this part carries?
Environmental: When or where does this part show up most strongly?
A particular part might not show up on all five channels. Parts will typically manifest more dominantly on just some of them rather than all of them at once. Simply notice which channels carry this particular part's most prominent manifestations.
Notice the functional relationships between parts - Do you notice any parts that seem to be in conflict? Any parts that work to protect you from other parts? Any that seem to work together?
For instance, your Perfectionist part might be trying to protect you from your Scared part's experienced fear of judgment. Your Exhausted part might be trying to protect you from your Driven part's tendency to ignore and override your body's basic needs, pushing you forward until you collapse from stress.
What you're learning: Through this mapping process, you're developing parts awareness—your ability to recognize that you're not just "you" in a monolithic sense, but rather an internal system of different parts, each with its own concerns, needs, and protective strategies. Until you've developed this parts awareness, the likihood is that you become identified with whatever part of you is most active and dominant at any given moment. One of your parts might be thinking, "I'm lazy" or "I'm broken," but because you're identified with that part, you can't see it as a part's perspective that you don't have to accept as truth. Instead, you experience it as THE TRUTH about who you are in that moment of the part's dominance. You simply believe "that's just who and what I am." You won't easily see that it doesn't have to be that way.
This mapping exercise builds something more fundamental than just parts awareness—it develops mindfulness. And mindfulness of your parts creates the possibility of choice.
When you can observe, "Several different parts of me are active right now, each with different concerns—my Critic is saying I'm lazy, my Exhausted part wants to rest, my Planner wants to organize. No wonder I feel stuck, they're pulling in different directions," you've created crucial distance. You're no longer being the Critic who believes you're lazy. You're observing your internal system.
And that shift—from identification to observation—is where choice becomes possible.
Speaking with Parts: Building Alliance Through Communication
Understanding that parts exist is one thing. Learning to communicate with them in ways that build alliance? That's where the real transformation happens.
This distinction matters: you can recognize your parts, map them, name them—and still be stuck in the same internal conflicts. Recognition is necessary, but it's not sufficient. The transformation occurs when you learn to actually work with your parts, building relationships characterized by trust and collaboration rather than control.
Here's what most people do wrong: they try to talk their parts out of their concerns. "You don't need to be scared, this is totally safe!" or "Stop being so perfectionist, it doesn't need to be perfect!" Sound familiar? The problem is that this approach treats parts like problems to be solved or obstacles to be overcome. It's fundamentally disrespectful and adversarial—you're basically telling the part its concerns don't matter.
To build the alliance, you'll want to take a completely different approach. Instead of trying to talk your parts out of their concerns or override them, you're going to speak with them the way good therapists work with parts—with curiosity, kindness, respect, and genuine interest in understanding their concerns. This is what Dick Schwartz and Janina Fisher teach: building internal attachment relationships characterized by trust and collaboration, not control.
The Fundamental Stance: Curiosity Over Control
Before we get into specific techniques, you need to understand the foundational attitude that makes parts work effective. It's captured in one simple shift:
From: "How do I make this part stop?"
To: "What problem is this part trying to help me solve?"
All parts, even those that seem most problematic, are truly trying to help you in some manner. Your Procrastinator part isn't trying to ruin your life, but is instead perhaps trying to protect you from the pain of being judged, or from feeling overwhelmed, or from being controlled by others. Your Anxious part isn't trying to torture you - it's trying to help you anticipate and prepare for potential problems.
When you approach parts with genuine curiosity about their protective function, you transform an unproductive internal conflict into an opening for productive dialogue.
The Basic Communication Sequence
Here's the fundamental sequence for speaking with any part:
1. Locate and notice the part
First, turn your attention inward and find where the part you want to speak with is "living" inside you right now. Scan across the channels: Where do you feel its physical signature? What thoughts or impulses are you noticing? What's the emotional tone? What behavior is it pulling toward? You're looking for the specific profile or energy pattern that identifies this particular part.
Once you've located the part—found its signature across the channels—you can acknowledge its presence:
"I notice you feel really heavy and don't want to start this task."
"I feel your anxiety about this deadline."
"I notice you would like to keep researching instead of writing."
Simple acknowledgment. You're not judging your part, not trying to change it. You're just recognizing that it's there and acknowledging its stance.
2. Get curious about its concerns
Next, speak inside to the part, requesting information. Treat the part as a collaborator, inviting it to help you understand its role and concerns. Ask genuine questions, not rhetorical ones:
"What are you worried about?"
"What are you trying to protect me from?"
"What do you need me to know?"
"What would help you feel safer?"
"What do you need from me right now?"
"What are you trying to accomplish?"
Then you listen for the response across the channels - to thoughts that arise, to body sensations, to emotional shifts. The answer might come as words, or as images, or as a felt sense in your body.
A Note on First Contact: If you try this basic sequence and get no response—no thoughts, sensations, or sense of the part at all—it might be that the part isn't yet aware you're trying to communicate. Parts that have been fully blended for years sometimes don't recognize that a Self exists who can speak with them. If this happens, try a simple introduction: "Hi, I'm [your name/the Self/the one who's been learning about parts]. Maybe we haven't met before? I wanted to introduce myself and let you know I'm here." This can break the ice and help the part recognize there's someone trying to communicate.
3. Determine what kind of part you're speaking with
As you listen for the part's responses, notice what happens inside. Is this part expressing its own vulnerability and need for protection? Or is this part expressing concern about the danger associated with a separate vulnerable part—trying to protect you from encountering the pain associated with that vulnerable part?
You might discover that what you initially thought was a vulnerable part asking for help is actually a protector part standing guard. Or vice versa. These distinctions matter, because what comes next depends on understanding your part's role in your system.
The Importance of Figuring Out Part Function
Here's a critical insight from IFS you'll need to appreciate: you often can't predict in advance what kind of part will show up when you turn your attention inward. Recall that there are two functionally distinct types of parts: Vulnerable parts function to hold and contain vulnerable experience while Protector parts function to protect the rest of your system from contact with that vulnerable experience.
The ultimate goal of parts conversations involves forming supportive relationships with vulnerable parts so that you can calm them down. However, the way to do that is seldom straightforward. Sometimes you might aim to speak with a vulnerable part and it happens. But other times a gate-keeping protector will show up and your way forward towards the vulnerable part will be blocked.
Your protective parts are serious about doing their jobs—they're protecting you (your adult self and functioning system) from being overwhelmed or retraumatized by contact with your vulnerable parts. They work by preventing you from accessing that vulnerability, managing your system so it doesn't destabilize. If you try to bypass your protectors and go straight to the scared or hurt parts they protect you from, your protective parts will often escalate their strategies to keep you from being able to do that.
So after you've located the part and gotten curious about its concerns (Steps 1-2), you next determine what sort of part you're actually working with (Step 3). From here the conversation branches:
If you're speaking with a protective part:
Convey genuine gratitude and respect for this part's service—"Thank you sincerely for trying to keep me safe!"
Listen to its concerns about what will happen if you access the vulnerability it is trying to protect you from experiencing
Ask the part if it's willing to step aside or pause its gate-keeping slightly, just enough for you to make contact with the vulnerable part
Only then—after first obtaining the protector's consent—should you speak with the vulnerable part.
If you're speaking with a vulnerable part:
Listen to what this part needs
Offer the part compassionate support and care—follow the part's lead about what it needs and then try to provide the part what it needs
As good practice, tell the part you'll visit again. However, only do this if you intend to keep your promise.
Why does keeping your promise matter so much? Because vulnerable parts have learned through experience that promises of care often don't get kept. Someone saying "I'll be back to help you" is alien to what these parts know—their whole existence has been shaped by the absence of consistent support. Their attachment is fundamentally insecure, built on the expectation of abandonment. The only way to shift this is through repeated experiences of you actually coming back, actually providing care, actually keeping your word. Each time you return as promised, you're building evidence that this time is different, that secure attachment is possible. But if you promise to return and then don't? You've just confirmed the part's deepest fear—that care is unreliable, that it can't trust anyone, that it's safer to stay hidden. Breaking a promise to a vulnerable part does more damage than never making the promise in the first place. So be honest. If you're not sure you can come back, just offer care now without the promise. But if you do promise, treat it as sacred.
The Basic Sequence in Action
The communication sequence I've sketched out doesn't always unfold this neatly. You might speak with one protector and have another show up. You might ask a protector to step aside only to find the vulnerable part is too hidden or scared to emerge. You might get partway through and hit another protective layer. Parts work requires flexibility and patience with internal complexity.
That said, let's walk through what it looks like when things do go smoothly—because you need to learn the basic pattern before you can adapt that basic pattern to the messy realities. Here's a straightforward example:
You're avoiding starting that report. You notice your Procrastinator part is active - you keep finding other things to do. Instead of trying to force yourself to start, you get curious:
You: "I notice there's a part that really doesn't want to start this report. Can I talk with you about what's going on?"
Procrastinator part: (Through whatever channel you perceive - maybe a thought, maybe a body sensation, maybe just a felt sense) "Every time you start something like this, you end up stressed and overwhelmed. I'm trying to protect you from that."
You: "Thank you for trying to protect me from overwhelm. That makes sense - I have gotten overwhelmed in the past. Would you be willing to let me check in with the part that gets overwhelmed, to see what it needs? I promise I won't push forward in a way that ignores your concerns."
Procrastinator part: "...Okay. But just for a minute."
You: (Now speaking to the Overwhelmed part) "Hey, I know starting big projects feels really scary. What do you need from me to feel safer?"
Overwhelmed part: "I need to know we won't commit to too much. And I need breaks. And I need to know you'll stop if it gets too hard."
You: "I can do that. What if we just work on outlining the first section for 20 minutes, and then we take a break? And we won't commit to finishing the whole thing today - just that one small piece."
Notice how this conversation works with the parts rather than trying to override them. You're building trust.
Integration with the Daily Aiming Ritual
Remember the Daily Aiming Ritual from Post 6? That structured planning process where you review your values, assess your capacity, and select your priorities for the day? Parts work transforms that entire process.
Instead of just cognitively deciding what you "should" do, you can check in with your parts:
Which parts feel energized by different tasks?
Which parts are concerned or resistant?
What do protective parts need to feel safe enough to let you move forward?
Which vulnerable parts need reassurance or care today?
Your Daily Aiming Ritual becomes a moment of internal dialogue and negotiation, not just a planning session. You're not just making a list - you're building alliance with your internal navigation team for the day ahead.
When you select priorities, you can explicitly acknowledge different parts' concerns:
"My Perfectionist part is worried about this presentation, so we're scheduling extra time"
"My Exhausted part needs rest today, so we're keeping the task list shorter"
"My Creative part has been feeling ignored, so we're including time for that art project"
Checking in with your parts transforms the Daily Aiming Ritual from wishful thinking into realistic planning. Your plan stops being a hope and a prayer and becomes a negotiated agreement with yourself—one that's actually grounded in your current capacity and emotional reality, not just what you think you 'should' be able to do.
Realistic Expectations: What Parts Work Can and Can't Do
Let me be clear about something important: parts work is not a magic solution that will make all executive function challenges disappear. It's a powerful tool, but it has limits.
What parts work CAN do:
Reduce internal conflict and the energy drain of fighting yourself
Transform self-criticism into self-compassion
Help you understand the protective function of problematic behaviors
Create more choice in how you respond to challenges
Build motivation through alliance rather than willpower
Reduce the intensity of emotional reactivity
Help you recognize which strategies are outdated vs. currently useful
What parts work CANNOT do:
Eliminate neurodevelopmental challenges (if you have ADHD, you still have ADHD)
Remove the need for external systems and structures
Make difficult tasks suddenly easy or enjoyable
Bypass the genuine difficulty of tasks that don't match your strengths
Replace the need for skill-building in areas where you lack skills
Parts work is part of a comprehensive approach to executive function support. You still need good planning systems (Posts 4-8). You still need transition rituals (Posts 16-21 coming soon). You still need to understand your nervous system and how to regulate it (Posts 14-15 coming soon). You still need to address the cognitive and motivational challenges of execution (Posts 22-33).
But here's what parts work provides that nothing else can: it transforms your relationship with yourself. Instead of approaching productivity challenges as battles to be won through willpower, you're approaching them as coordination challenges within a complex internal system. Instead of seeing your struggles as personal failures, you're seeing them as protective parts doing their best to keep you safe.
That shift in perspective - that fundamental reframing of internal conflict as protection rather than pathology - that's what makes sustainable change possible.
Starting Your Practice
You don't need to master all of this at once. In fact, trying to "do parts work perfectly" is exactly the kind of thinking that protective parts resist. Instead, start small:
This week, just practice noticing parts through the five channels. When you find yourself stuck or resistant:
Get curious: "Which part is active right now?"
Notice: What channels is this part using to communicate?
Acknowledge: "There's a part that..."
That's it. Just recognition and acknowledgment. No need to fix anything or have elaborate dialogues.
Next week, add simple check-ins: "What are you worried about?" and "What do you need?" Just asking those two questions to protective parts when they show up.
The week after, start experimenting with negotiation: "What if we tried this small step?" and see what happens.
You're building a practice of internal dialogue and alliance. Like any new skill, it gets easier with repetition. And unlike many executive function strategies, this one actually gets more effective over time as your parts learn to trust you - as they learn that you're genuinely interested in their concerns, not just trying to override them.
In my next post, we're going to apply everything you've learned about parts work to the specific challenge of emotional regulation and executive function. Because here's the thing: emotions aren't just feelings that happen to you. They're signals from different parts about what they need and what they're concerned about. And learning to work with emotional states rather than trying to override them or wait for them to pass - that's the foundation for everything else we'll explore in the execution posts ahead.
You now have the practical tools for recognizing and speaking with your internal navigation team. The alliance model isn't just theory anymore - it's a living practice you can engage in every day.
Next up: Emotional Regulation for Executive Function - discover how to work with emotional states as information from your parts, transforming feelings from obstacles into guides for sustainable productivity.